Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Anguish.

"I'm not a perfect person. There's many things I wish I didn't do, but I continue learning. I never meant to do those things to you. And so I have to say before I go that I just want you to know I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be. A reason to start over new. And the reason is you." ~Hoobastank, "The Reason"


I want to dream. I want to see him in which my subconscious tells me he's like. I want to understand. I have way too much to think about, so many unanswered questions in my head. They need to be answered soon, or I might go insane. He's all I think about. I need to know, and I need to know now. Why do I do this to myself? I torture myself with daydreams with which I know will never happen. Everything I do, hear, see, reminds me of him. This is so frustrating, ridiculous, pathetic. I hate it all; what I think, what I do. And him. But this isn't all his fault; it's mine. I shouldn't have let it get this far, this complicated. I'm probably making this more complicated than it is. It could be much simpler if I told him. But I can't. He just wouldn't understand. Gawd, I love his obliviousness. And his hair, and smile...see? I'm torturing myself right now. But I need him. I really do. "I [am] unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." And I can't do anything about it.

Another snow day. I need to get a hobby. :P

~Victoria.

14 comment(s):

Ali said...

Classic twilight quote right there I love it.

You're having a Bella moment aren't you? I'm sorry Victoria. If there's anything I can do to help, let me know. :)

Jaky Astik said...

Oh, I am experiencing the same right now. Since Rachana left me, i am having these thoughts.

krl said...

hello. i am now back.

and, it's funny yous say that, i was in a car crash....

though i came out scratchless, thank god.

it is nice to be back.

krl

Tristan said...

Can you send an email to;
trainingwithtristan@googlemail.com
i'll reply back with an extract.

Cheers,

Tristan

•waLkiиg disasteя• said...

thts a lovely quote!!

krl said...

I read your story. No comment.

And I'm fine. Never worry about me.

Krl

simpleman said...

I know that feeling all too well.. It hurts but you will get past it and learn a lot

krl said...

i dont know.

krl

Ali said...

Good. I'm glad its not that to the extreme. You're welcome. :)

James said...

I think it is ok if you fall for a person hard. I think that if you just ask, everything can work out in the end. ^_^ thanks for the eye color comment. And if you need some help just ask.

James said...

Lol, well still I liked it.

Cursed♪♫ said...

i love that quote..
Aww...i hope everything gets fine soon. :)
Take care !!!

Jaky Astik said...

I have nominated to "I love your blog". go to my blog and read for yourself.

krl said...

....

these stories are pathetic. sorry.

you must locate the extended version of harrowdown hill that comes with thom yorke's ep 'spitting feathers'. i also got the eraser remixed which sounds frickin awesome. but, back to harrowdown hill, the extended version is so much better. and if that was a normal radiohead song, id put it sixth on my top one hundred.


krl