Thursday, February 12, 2009

I Just Love You.

"This is my way of saying goodbye, because I can't do it fact to face. So I'm talking to you before, no matter what happens now. I won't be afraid because I know today has been the most perfect day I have ever seen." ~Radiohead.

He knows. And it's very scary to think that. I think he understood, that's why he's been looking at me funny for the past few weeks. Well, he looks at everyone funny, but that's besides the point.

It's an educated guess; I'm not positive. But he might know. I always felt like I wanted him to, but now that he might, it just feels weird. I think I prefer him not knowing, but I realize that maybe I don't. I really don't know; I'm so confused right now. Why? Why do I have to like the only guy who wouldn't tell me if he liked me if he did? Why me? And why him? Why did he have to be the first person I met here? And most importantly: What is it about him that makes me like him? I know: "Write down all of the things you hate about him, and you'll soon realize that all of those are what you truly love about him". I hate that so much. Because it's so true.

I don't feel like I have any control over this. Which I know I could, but do I really? What if I mess up my only chance of telling him? I need to take that risk. But I can't. And obviously he can't either, if he knows.

Peace.

11 comment(s):

jakyas said...

Ya. peace.Victoria, u have taken all the good and bad in yourself. You are always good to others. How do u manage?

krl said...

thats not what i was told.

krl said...

i read your comment on allisons

will you be my online valentine? :)

simpleman said...

You never have control over the person you have feelings for. You just cant help yourself.

•waLkiиg disasteя• said...

its impossible to hate a person...cause somewhere behind the hatred will lie ur love....inexorable love....

•waLkiиg disasteя• said...

dun forget to check out my new blog.!

Allison said...

Hmm it does seem like your in a pickle. Sorry i had to say it i couldnt help myself. If he knows then he knows. You never know he might be afraid to tell you he likes you. Some guys can just come out and say it some are shy :P Its not your fault you like him. Not that you can really control it anyways. Don't worry about it too much or get too paranoid about it. He might not even know.

Cursed♪♫ said...

Hi!!
I agree with Sakhi. Behind the dark side of a person, there's always a soft corner !
I love that Radiohead quote !
Take Care Vic !

krl said...

i was on msn. and speaking to lots of friends. but because im at my babysitting house, i didnt realize their webcam was on. and i was dancing hectically for about 40 minutes to idioteque and the eraser.

and everyone saw,

and now they think im drunk or a nutjob. haha, too bad the actually answer is both.

well, not drunk, but under the influence. four carlsberg.

so im now gonna get a lot of mockery on monday


krl

Allison said...

haha sorry krl but that is pretty funny. well anyways there isn't anything u can do until you find out if he knows or not. You could even like go up to him and talk just strike up a conversation about school or a movie and if he acts fine then either he doesn't know or he doesn't care. Or maybe even he likes you back. If he acts a little weird you might want to just come out with it and ask him whats wrong or something like that.

grey~eyes said...

OH GOLLY! Wow, are you alright? Hope you are ok!!