Wednesday, February 4, 2009

What else can be said, but "Grrr"?

"Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't want to know. If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go. Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming of angels on the moon, where everyone you know never leaves to soon." ~Thriving Ivory, 'Angels on the Moon'.

I don't feel so good. I'm just not sure about anything anymore. And I'm soo tired. Here are two poems I have written in the past few days:

I want to know,
But I’m too afraid.
There’s so much I want to do with you,
So much I feel like I need to say.

You wouldn’t react very well,
That’s how I imagine the worse.
But this might take awhile;
I can’t explain everything very terse.

So as I walk up to you
And see you looking at me,
I can feel the pressure,
It’s not even close to a tolerable degree.

So how will it end?
I guess only time will tell.
But right now I have no clue what I’m feeling,
Though I feel like I’m living in hell.

I have so many mixed emotions,
I have no idea how to deal.
But maybe once I know how you think
The hole in my stomach could finally heal.


And the second:

I finally hate you,
I can finally see the light.
I’m not in a fog anymore,
Everything’s becoming bright.


I can finally see everything,
Both the bad and the good.
You’re not the guy I use to know;
That's what I should have understood.


You’ve become someone different,
Someone I don’t want to know.
I’m in a place I don’t want to be in.
And I just want to go.


I felt the connection from the start,
But I guess there never was one.
But you’re still here,
And I can’t seem to run.


And by the way, the second one is true. Finally, after so long. I somehow feel accomplished. It feels great. :)

Peace.

~Victoria.

5 comment(s):

lone poet said...

your poems miss vikki, are delicious. i love them, but they scare the hell out of me.
and ur right had wrong
and damn straight

krl said...

i did try very hard.

you texans/newyorkers/americans sure to like the idea of stalkers.

speaking of americans, i can t wait for the american version of 'life on mars', which is like, one of the most awesome tv shows ever. and it premieres on channel ten tonight. not sure if it has been aired there already or not.

and speaking of life on mars, i do love david bowie. not sure if you like him/heard of him. if not, start with the song 'space oddity'. it may be from 1969, but it is fantastic. and not only do i like bowie, so does thom yorke.

suck on that.

i didnt say much to travis. just pissing around with him a bit. i have mentioned you. but i only said that 'me and victoria are friends. it's good to finally put a face to the name she mentions so often. i do hear yous are very good friends...'.

i chuckled at myself when i wrote this.

today i found out that our music class must perform in a musical for assessment. at this point, my frustration couldnt go any further. i objected complained and went straight to the school principal with my complaints. im now in i.c.t. (as a replacement subject) with jono. swimming went terribly. an austistic kid got scared when i dived in and grabbed whatever he could, and he pulled my swimwear off. i was so embarrassed. because it was races for interschool competitions and this distracted me. so i ended up third out of five. arrgghhhh! in front of all the girls too. no one saw anything as i was wearing underwear underneath. but still.

you probably havent even read any of that. i really dont expect you to have interest with what a person on the other side of the world has to say.

krl

•waLkiиg disasteя• said...

is it really true.........ah!so sad.........
nyways bth r awesome!!

Jaky Astik said...

Do all love stories have to end like this? Oh Dear, Life is sometimes so beautiful and sometimes hell in itself.

grey~eyes said...

wow, the poems are really good, im guessing they are about 'the guy' did something happen? (sorry if im wrong)
hope you are alright :)
x